Snow

I long for your closeness
as we lie next to each other
But it's the same again
I watch the snow through the skylight
Whiteness, purity, shredded cloud, shredded heaven.

Such an odd feeling.
I'm spurred on into childhood reminiscences;
not of tobogganing or sleigh rides
but of being kept indoors, reading by torchlight under the covers
watching the firm white snow cry itself into brown mulch

Watching the snow hit the pane
And slide down - defeated into water
Like my morality, my mortality
Your distant closeness burns me
I have to get up

I'm conscious of your watching me
So I stand, statue like, transfixed as a sonnet under the window
Revelling in the innocence of my hair
Sliding down my back
as the snow turns to water sliding down the pane

And I wait for you to speak or sleep
agonising what to do
To turn and smile or to stay and cry
I break and turn, expecting a halo of shards as the
Window breaks in sympathy
And my face breaks into a smile.